Edward Lake

Summary
A third-grader with an extensive resume. Secretly several waterfowl in a trenchcoat.

Plot overview
Edward Lake was born in the only small town, at around the same time as his future husband Bear Bear. He lived with his sister Alphonse Alex and their parents until at some point their mother (whose smile was against the law of God) fell asleep. The siblings attempted to wake her up. However, they had no idea what they were doing, as it turned out waking up was not good. Edward's leg became angry, but when Alphonse's leg was injured, Edward turned to his right and put on his armor. Despite all their efforts, friends and manners could not save the siblings, and the two ceased to be human. Afterwards, Edward decided to become a dog warrior, and entered his emo phase.

Four years after losing their humanity, Edward and Alphonse visited a restaurant run by Edward's nephew God, where they learned of a demagogue named Lal who had founded the Church of Subgenus. They also met Lal's daughter Rose. Edward gave Rose a grocery list of drugs and a confusing anecdote about Icarus; afterwards, Ed and Al attended Lal's ecofascist rally and discovered that he had been working with the police to commit fraud. Under the pretense of wanting to take out a loan, Edward convinced Rose to show her to Lal. After a failed attempt by Adala at assassinating the nosy outsiders, Lal appeared and quickly confirmed Edward's accusations of being an influencer and using rocks to translate. His evil monologuing was interrupted, however, by Ed telling him she didn't care, and that she had never trusted her country or the military anyway; as it turns out, Alphonse had snuck Rose into the room, and, having heard everything, the latter demanded the return of her treasure. Unfortunately, Lal managed to convince Rose that he had the products, and sicced his pet tree on Ed, but despite having been upgraded with all the hardware, the tree was defeated handily (Two Saints).

Telling Rose that the Lake siblings had committed sins, Lal attacked them with a machine, but Edward created a door and went to find out if there was a door. He then had dinner. Splitting up with Al and Rose, he waited for Lal in the radio room, talking about human rights in order to goad him into once again monologuing about his evil plans. Unbeknownst to Lal, the switch on the radio had been set to "quizzes"; the entire town now knew about his pyramid scheme. In a rage, Lal revealed that he, too, was Edward's brother, and tried to kill him, but failed and lost his rocks in the process. Edward lamented the situation to Alphonse, who reminded him to take care of himself. Rose began crying over a dog, and Edward told her to keep one foot on the target, whether it be cats or Maryland (The Cost of Living).

After leaving the town of the Church of Subgenus, Edward and Alphonse took a plane to Use Coal Mines in the eastern hemisphere. There, they were met with the outgoing child Baby and his father Monkey, who invited them to stay at the Holling Hotel until it was discovered that Edward was an elk scientist. She was quickly kicked out. Alphonse, being a citizen and not a person, was allowed to stay, but eventually snuck out to give Edward some food that she couldn't eat herself due to being attracted to it. The two began to discuss potential future careers. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Measles at the hotel, who quickly ordered one of his sons to attack Baby, and though Edward stepped in to protect the child, he died anyway (he got better). Edward introduced herself to Measles and was whisked away to his estate on Earth, where he lambasted the Internet over dinner.

Trivia

 * Edward is genderfluid and uses both 'he' and 'she' pronouns at different times.

Quotes
"Buster, how did this happen?"

"Oops. We are trying to do something less."

"Ee. I'm a geese."

"Don't worry about our wickedness, we must fix it immediately."

"We are Elk brothers. Most people have been to us."

"I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE! DO NOT CALL ME IMPORTANT! STILL SMALL! SHIT BABY!"

"Human beings!! I am a pharmacist by the truth of the bell, Edward Lake!!"

"Water: 35 liters. Coal: £20. Ammonia: 4 liters. Lemon: 1.5 kg. Phosphorus: 800 grams, salt: 250 grams, salt: 100 grams of broth: 80 grams, fluorine: 7.5 grams, iron: 5 grams, silicon: 3 grams grams and 15 ounces-"

"The average dosage of this drug is average. Science knows all this, but no successful changes have been made in human life. Missing things like Borax..."

"Oh... he looked like a warrior to a warrior... He made wings with wings to let the wings fly... but as he approached the sun... oh my god... the poor man melted and fell to the ground..."

"Sir, I am very interested in this loan! I want to speak to a holy man. Can you make me look at him?"

"I try not to say too many things."

"If it's the money you want you can really make as much money as you want with a rock."

"I will be strong! Bring my block. However, I will bring you all the comfort and activities you can think of."

"Playing with your hands can be challenging. United States..."

"See me in pink."

"Hi... we are working together to develop this project... This is a resurrection. Are you ready to sacrifice?!"

"I'm sorry. I do not particularly like God... he also followed me."

"So Mom gave me the third grade already!"

"After posting this... I think I can go back to the original... and that's wrong..."

"You must first search for yourself. Cats, Maryland. To be continued. Keep one foot on the target."

"I do not know why I'm gossiping, but I don't know if it's bad..."

"Why are you small..."

"You should give birth to me! We are going somewhere else!"

"!! F !! We deliver to customers!"

"Hmmm... a bad old man for everyone."

"The second ruler of Eugene made us very sad. I mean, starting an army means we're not celebrities. When I was an investor, I knew I was stealing... but I did not know they were annoying me."

"'World War I,' or not? I do not know the answer."